Type of Feeling that I experienced for the past 24 years

While view the picture of my friend in Facebook, I thought about understand my own feeling and how I deal with it. Such a crazy thinking but I love it. At least I know that I have a feeling.

Type of feeling: Useless & Stupid

When I failed to do something and make people disappoint, that is the time I feel so useless and stupid. Beside that, I will feel useless when people not believe my ability to perform. Actually before entering into working life, I never experience this feeling. This feeling start appear in the list 5 months after I started working.

Solution: Sit quietly and think. After a few minutes, I will listen to music and do some random reading in the Internet until I feel better. The longest time for me to experience this feeling is only 1 hour.

Type of feeling: de-motivated

Like feel like useless, this feeling also started when I started working. I feel de-motivated when people not believe in my capability. I will feel de-motivated when people only recognized me during problem (reason: these people need someone to be blamed). I feel even more de-motivated when people not share or inform me any information /knowledge that related to my work. At the end of the day, when problem arise and it involved me, sometime I need to act stupid just to save people image by telling the person who asking me “ maybe they inform me but I take it for granted”… Its too tired to be like a stupid person.

Solution: Sit quietly and think. After a few minutes, I will listen to music and do some random reading in the Internet until I feel better. Then told myself, why I should hurt my feeling because of these people. I should enjoy my life. Maximum time I can be de-motivated so far is 1 day.

Type of Feeling: Angry

Last time I got 100% feeling of angry is … not sure. Usually when I told people I feel angry, it is not a serious feeling. In fact, I also not sure either I was angry or not because that kind of feeling only last for 1 minutes. This is because I always afraid of the consequences like I will hurt those people feeling; I need to say sorry to them, I will lose them, etc.

Solution: no need solution coz this kind of feeling only happen once in blue moon.

Type of Feeling: Jealous

Hahaha… I always feel jealous every minutes of my life. Even with the little kid who ate ice cream.

Solution: No solution. It just a normal feeling

Type of Feeling: Boring

When I am dealing with boring people, join boring event and do something boring.

Solution: Be alone

Type of Feeling: Go crazy

Suddenly, I just laugh and smile. Don’t know why, suddenly I feel I want to laugh and smile. Sometime, when go outing with my friend, suddenly I can go crazy but the best thing is, they go crazy together with me. I still remember one incident. That time, got a group of handsome & good looking guy ate next to our table. We make a deal and during the first vote, I am the first person to make a move first. The first time ever in my life I approach a guy. With innocence face, I just bring my meal to their table and sit next to one of them. After say, Hi, I just ate my meal. Those guys look at me weirdly. To make thing more interesting, I ate their meal also and loudly calling for my friend name to join us. At first they refuse to come but then they came and join us. But of course, I am the one who ate so “politely” while the others just quiet and smile to each other.  After finish the meal, I say thank you to that guy group and leaves my friend there to clean all the mess and say sorry to them.

Solution: No solution because that is one of the way to make myself happy

Type of Feeling: Happy

I feel happy everyday. The happiest feeling is when my parent trusts me in every decision that I make for my life.

Type of Feeling: Sad

Real life sad feeling when something bad happens to my families and friends. Ad hoc sad feeling when I watched series, movie or sad news. The saddest moment in my life is when my very best cousin died in 2002. He’s like a soul of families, friends and people around the neighborhood. Everyone take a long time to recover after his dead. That was the saddest moment in my life.

Solution: Spend more time with families and friends. Best motto: Let go and forget

There are some of feelings that I experience. There are many more but don’t know belong to what type. Hahaha…Want to type more, but now, I’m feeling lazy to type. Can I just speak and the keyboard automatically types it for me???