MY FAVOURITE ACTIVITY TO KILL TIME WHEN I’M ALONE

Sometime I enjoy being lonely. Yesterday, I purposely being lonely and not plan anything for my weekend. So, in order to kill time, I’m doing my favourite activity that is watching people and make a conclusion based on the situation. So, after settled all the morning activities, I went out.

On the way to LRT Station

Scene: Shoppers busy opening their shop while talking to their shop neighbor. The passer by just look at them and sometimes they exchange smiles and say hi like they already known for a long time. If they already become friend, they will stop for a while and have a brief chit chat session. Actually, 90% of them didn’t know each other. The only connection between them is they always saw each other everyday and 90% of the passer by live at that area. After almost 2 years living in this area, I also knew 25% of these people name but for the rest we still have can smile to each other and say hi. I still remember last December when I went back to my hometown for a week. A week after that, while on the way back to my condo, some of them asked me, “Hi, long time no see. Where are you going? How are you?” I am so surprise. I just only smile to them but then they still care for me. Same thing when I want to buy some food from the nearby café. They already know what I will buy (always order the same) although I’m just drop by sometime once in two months

My conclusion: Relationship is unique. It naturally develops inside everybody.

LRT Station: While waiting for LRT

Scene: Although people always busy and sometimes they look like arrogant or selfish, but there still got at least 1% of humanity characteristics. One Chinese guy looks busy reading the documents and at the same time talking to the phone and he walks so fast. About 1 meter in front him, there was an old Malay lady tiredly carries the luggage on the right hand and holds her grandson. Surprisingly, that guy went to her and offers his helps to carry the luggage. Don’t think I’m not willing to help that lady. At that time, I’m not even reached the Touch & Go scanner yet.

My conclusion:

-          First Impression is important but then don’t simply jump to conclusion based on the first impression.

-          When it comes to help each other, race, religion and difference is not a boundary.

Inside LRT

Scene 1: When stop at Setiawangsa station, one pregnant lady board into the train and also they got young couple and group of primary school kid (I think). The young couple got the seat leaving the preggy lady standing. I can’t offer my seat to her because that times I also standing. Really upset with the stupid couple especially the guy. There got a notice “this seat for pregnant ladies, old people & … “Proud with these school kid. One of them approaches the guy and asked him to give the seat to the lady. But, that guy talked back to him and told him, he already has the seat first and his GF just laugh together with him. It ends up, one old man (he’s blind) stand up and offer the seat to the lady. As a token of appreciation, these kid offer their help holding that man hand in order to keep him balance while standing.

My conclusion: Sometime couple didn’t understand the true meaning of love. The only definition of love they know is “I love u, u love me” and those love only for BF & GF.

Scene 2: When the train stops at KLCC, there were a group of Chinese family boarding but then they were in trouble. None of them can speak English. They look around them which I think they look for Chinese people. Unfortunately there’s no Chinese person there. The father(I think) reach these school kid and write show something to them in hope they can help. But, one of the kids says in English, he didn’t know the place. Since sometimes I love to give direction to people, I offer my help. They gave me the place name (Muzium Negara). Then I make a hand communication to them told them to follow me because I will stop at KL Central and Muzium Negara is near to KL Central. They just nod their head. So, when we reach KL Central, the first thing I do is bring them to Muzium without asking them to take taxi. Although it takes around 15mins walking but then it is save than taking a taxi that will charge them. I still say sorry to them for asking them to walk but then from their reaction, they are not angry with me. ( I understand some Chinese but do not know how to respond back in Chinese. Thanks to my Chinese friend especiall my BFF Yee Chiea Chai). I even showed them the way to Planetarium Negara. Looks like I’m their tourist guide. After say thank you, I leave them having their sweet time at the muzium.

My conclusion: if we are really wanted to help people, language differences are not the barrier. If both not understand each other language, just showed it through action.

KL CENTRAL

This is the nice spot to observe people behavior. I just find one place to sit and start my activity (of course I bring book together with me to avoid people think that I’m crazy sitting there without doing anything.

Scene 1: @ KFC. There are a group of middle age man having a chit chat session. They really close to each other and have a very sweet & nice chit chat. Why they attract my attention? This is because they are from different races and one of them sitting on the wheelchair. They remind me of my friendship.

Conclusion: If you really sincere in friendship, your friendship will last forever.

Scene 2: Departure Hall KLIA Express

Family – The husband keep asking his wife to walk faster while at the same time his wife busy with two kids asking for something. The wife still at the pass scanner whiles the husband already at the escalator and keeps shouting at his wife to be faster.

Couple/ newly married (not sure)  – holding hand and smilingly walk towards the ticket counter.

Old couple – wave towards their daughter/ granddaughter (not sure their relationship with the lady). Then, the hubby told something to his wife and wipes the tears.

One guy (not sure either he’s single or already married) – talk with the phone and sometimes laugh.

One single lady – sit quietly at one of the seat while reading book. That’s me. Hahahhahaha

Conclusion: single or to have a life partner?  As long as you know the true meaning of family and love, everything will be okay.

The departure hall scenes lead me to the second activity that is deep thinking about my life. Sometime I prefer to be alone but sometimes I love to be with friend (That is sometime difficult to spend time with them due to their dating with their partner).

The deep thinking title of the day: LOVE

Everyone connect through love. Love is universal and not only specific to BF GF relationship. Love can lead to good thing and sometimes it can lead to bad thing. But for me, love is unique.

My definition of love is simple. Love myself first. This is because I believe once I already have 100% love towards myself, only then I will be able to love my God, religion, Families, Friends, Animals, Natures and everyone/everything around me.

My love story in term of BF GF Relationship? I’m not yet started a chapter on it yet. When I told people I want to have a BF, I’m not seriously meant it. It just a sentence in order to join the chit chat with my them. I never think about having a boyfriend at this time. Don’t asked me why because I haven’t have the answer for that. If people told that I’m afraid of having that kind of relationship, I admit it because 60% of me afraid of fall in love. This is due to some love failure experience (broke up, divorce, not meant to be together, died of the lovers)  of my friend and some families. All these stuff make me afraid. Since now, I’m happy with my life now, just enjoy my life. But then, sometimes it looks like I’m the love doctor. My friend always come to me with their love problem and asked my view. Although no experience in love, but I do my best to help them. Source of references…… I love reading. So, I just remember anything from my reading that related to their problem.hahahhahaha….

Need to stop now coz my finger told me they are already tired. Hahahahahhahaha… Since I love them, I need to stop now.

Thanks to my typing partner:

-          Song by Anuar Zain : Sedetik Lebih

-          Song by Justin Bieber : Pray

-          Song by 2 AM : Confession of a Friend

-          Song from Korean Series : Dream High

-          Piano music from Jay Chou Movie : Secret

-          Song by Bravo All Star : Let the Music Heal Your Soul

Type of Feeling that I experienced for the past 24 years

While view the picture of my friend in Facebook, I thought about understand my own feeling and how I deal with it. Such a crazy thinking but I love it. At least I know that I have a feeling.

Type of feeling: Useless & Stupid

When I failed to do something and make people disappoint, that is the time I feel so useless and stupid. Beside that, I will feel useless when people not believe my ability to perform. Actually before entering into working life, I never experience this feeling. This feeling start appear in the list 5 months after I started working.

Solution: Sit quietly and think. After a few minutes, I will listen to music and do some random reading in the Internet until I feel better. The longest time for me to experience this feeling is only 1 hour.

Type of feeling: de-motivated

Like feel like useless, this feeling also started when I started working. I feel de-motivated when people not believe in my capability. I will feel de-motivated when people only recognized me during problem (reason: these people need someone to be blamed). I feel even more de-motivated when people not share or inform me any information /knowledge that related to my work. At the end of the day, when problem arise and it involved me, sometime I need to act stupid just to save people image by telling the person who asking me “ maybe they inform me but I take it for granted”… Its too tired to be like a stupid person.

Solution: Sit quietly and think. After a few minutes, I will listen to music and do some random reading in the Internet until I feel better. Then told myself, why I should hurt my feeling because of these people. I should enjoy my life. Maximum time I can be de-motivated so far is 1 day.

Type of Feeling: Angry

Last time I got 100% feeling of angry is … not sure. Usually when I told people I feel angry, it is not a serious feeling. In fact, I also not sure either I was angry or not because that kind of feeling only last for 1 minutes. This is because I always afraid of the consequences like I will hurt those people feeling; I need to say sorry to them, I will lose them, etc.

Solution: no need solution coz this kind of feeling only happen once in blue moon.

Type of Feeling: Jealous

Hahaha… I always feel jealous every minutes of my life. Even with the little kid who ate ice cream.

Solution: No solution. It just a normal feeling

Type of Feeling: Boring

When I am dealing with boring people, join boring event and do something boring.

Solution: Be alone

Type of Feeling: Go crazy

Suddenly, I just laugh and smile. Don’t know why, suddenly I feel I want to laugh and smile. Sometime, when go outing with my friend, suddenly I can go crazy but the best thing is, they go crazy together with me. I still remember one incident. That time, got a group of handsome & good looking guy ate next to our table. We make a deal and during the first vote, I am the first person to make a move first. The first time ever in my life I approach a guy. With innocence face, I just bring my meal to their table and sit next to one of them. After say, Hi, I just ate my meal. Those guys look at me weirdly. To make thing more interesting, I ate their meal also and loudly calling for my friend name to join us. At first they refuse to come but then they came and join us. But of course, I am the one who ate so “politely” while the others just quiet and smile to each other.  After finish the meal, I say thank you to that guy group and leaves my friend there to clean all the mess and say sorry to them.

Solution: No solution because that is one of the way to make myself happy

Type of Feeling: Happy

I feel happy everyday. The happiest feeling is when my parent trusts me in every decision that I make for my life.

Type of Feeling: Sad

Real life sad feeling when something bad happens to my families and friends. Ad hoc sad feeling when I watched series, movie or sad news. The saddest moment in my life is when my very best cousin died in 2002. He’s like a soul of families, friends and people around the neighborhood. Everyone take a long time to recover after his dead. That was the saddest moment in my life.

Solution: Spend more time with families and friends. Best motto: Let go and forget

There are some of feelings that I experience. There are many more but don’t know belong to what type. Hahaha…Want to type more, but now, I’m feeling lazy to type. Can I just speak and the keyboard automatically types it for me???

Who Inspire Me?

Its weekend and I have no plan in my mind. So, while waiting for the plan to pop-up in my mind, so I take this opportunity to update my blog. Remember about the book, Winning by Jack Welch? Congratulation to me because I am successfully reading it up to page 15 of 359 pages. Well, it is a good achievement for me for this month because as I told before, suddenly I become very lazy reading a book. And finally, on 20/1/2011, I got back the interest of reading. Now, my bookshelf will be full of book again (comics, novels, general knowledge, motivation books as well as religious books). While reading Winning I was also listen to radio and the topic of the day is “Who inspire you?”. Then, it give me an idea to update my blog with the same topic. Here are those people that inspire me.






1. My family

This is the main group of people that inspire me the most. They are the one who always there for me and support me. Although sometime, they annoyed me and bring a big headache for me, but they are the person that I am worried most in my life. I admired both my mum and dad. When I have a deep thinking, I always think that it a huge decision for them to getting married and build a family. They experience many sweet and sour in life but they still do their best for their child. Thanks to them to make me such a person I am today. The biggest happiness they gave me is their trust. They believe in me more than my other siblings. Even, when I made any decision in my life, they not even asked me for second option or asked other family members (my siblings, relatives) to view my decision. They believe 100% in me. It is different for my sibling. That’s why sometimes I am the center of jealousy of my sibling. Each time when my parent not agrees with them they always talk back to them saying why it always green light for me. (Well, am the eldest).






2. Tun Mahathir (ex-PM of Malaysia)

What should I say about him? I was grown up during his era. I respect his view and his leadership. I like his out of the box ideas and his effort to make it real. He leads Malaysia for more than 20 yrs and it is a long journey for him to make Malaysia as it is today. He’s my role model. I always dream of meeting him face to face. Just a smile without words will make me happy. Thanks to God, finally I met him and one sentence from him, “Congratulation & Good Luck for your future life”. That time, only one word from me,”Thank You”. When we met? Hahahahha… He’s my University chancellor that time. And during my Convocation in 2009 and luckily our course session was in the morning and he was there to give me the scroll. That is the precious moment in my life. Finally, I met one of the people that’s inspire me.






3. Oprah Winfrey

I started to know her when I was 13 yrs old. That time I was reading an article about her in school library. These articles make me to know more about her. Since that time I was not that IT type of person, so I just find about her through books in the library and articles. She is the reason why I love reading. After I finish my Form 5 and start my University life, I search more about her. She’s inspiring me. Knowing everything about her taught me to love reading, love people and the nature around me, learn how to share love and happiness with others and many things. I dream of being like her one day. Share joy and happiness with others either we know them or not. While watched her program, I always wish that one day I will able to join others in the studio. I cried; laugh together while watching her program. The most memorable scene is when she makes people wish comes true. Not to mention on her surprise to people. I hope I can meet her in person one day. If that dream comes true, first think I would tell her is “Thank You”. Up till now, I am still holding to that dream.






4. Lee Seung Gi (Korean singer, actor, MC)

His name started to be in my list in 2009. That time, like normal drama fan, I watched his drama Brilliant Legacy and I fall in love with this guy. He’s not that handsome but he’s cool. So, like what I do with Oprah, I started to search about him. (I only do searching about people if I really interested in them. Up to now, only he and Oprah make me crazy to search more about them). Then I started to watch his entertainment program. Since in Malaysia, we only can view KBS Channel, so I am the big fan of his 1 Night 2 days program. Why he inspire me? He always does his best in everything he’s doing. He not complains about being tired, respect all people and always be humble. From the info searching about him, everything about him is positive. Plus, he values education and it always his top priority. I admire and jealous of his time management between his career as a celebrity and a student. He knows how to make people love him and always make sure to pay all the love that he received by do his best in everything. I wish I will meet him one day. Love his latest drama “My Girlfriend is Gumiho”. Seung Gi shi..hwaja fighting!! Saranghae. If I was fortunate to meet him, I want to say “Thank You” to him.






5. 1 Night 2 days member (Kang Hodong, Lee Seuguen, Eun Jiwon, Kim Jong Min, Lee Seung Gi & 2 ex-members [MC Mong and Kim C])

This is new member of the list of people that inspire me. They just got into the list in 2010. They teach me the value of friendship and relationship. I wish I could meet all of them. Like Oprah, these members sometimes touch my heart. I love every episode but their latest episode of foreign workers (although it’s not air in Malaysia yet, but through video cut in the internet, am able to watch it). That episode makes me cried together with them. Thanks to the production team for such an idea. Wish them a year of success and prosperity in 2011. If I was fortunate and lucky enough to meet them, I want to say “Thank You”. I learn many things in life by watching this program. Plus this program also makes me feel that I already visit Korea. Korea is one of my dream countries that I would like to visit. But, I just hold these dreams because, each time when I got time to take leave, I prefer to go back to my hometown and being with my family.






What a long update. But, up till today, that is the list of people that inspire me. But, on top of everything, it is I who inspire me so much. Why? This is because everything comes from my love to me. These people are the one who help me to inspire myself so that I will do better.

Mixed Feeling

Week 3 2011 and its Monday….


Lately feel demotivated with my work. Actually almost one year got this kind of feeling of demotivated. But not so critical until recently, I feel lost and walking in the tunnel with no exit. Why? Difficult to explain, but sometime I do my best to be as positive as I can and told myself to love my work. Every morning when I woke up, I told myself “I love my work”. Actually, now am doing something that totally different from what I’ve learn during my university time. It is something new to me. I always told myself, in real world, sometimes we will not get what we want. So, be positive and accept what had been given to me. But now, I already come to the maximum limit but I still told myself not to give up. I really can’t force myself to love my job now. I do love the company but I don’t think this job scope suit me well. Feel like to change to other unit but for sure it is not an easy solution.
Bad Dream

Last night I got a bad dream. I only remember 30% of the dream. It’s been long time I haven’t experience any bad dream. But last night was so scary. In the dream, I was holding the list of death people and people that will be death soon. And I also remember that the list was arranged based on who has been died first. I only remember a few name but these name that I remember are still alive. But, I told myself don’t think about it too much coz maybe I was influence by the movie that I watched before I went to sleep.
Peanuts Family

Suddenly, starting last Friday night is so addicted with Peanuts and anything that related to peanut. Yesterday, I ate total of 4 packets (180kg) of peanut of Tong Garden Brand. Today, after lunch, I also buy another 2 packets of peanut. Is it normal? Last time I have this crazy addictive is with Ice-cream. In one night I can ate between 5-6 cones of ice cream. So crazy. Hope this addictive with peanut will stop today. I won’t ruin my happy healthy eating life. Now, I am so happy losing 5kg (60kg-55kg). I can even wear ‘s’ size now.

Book Assignment : WINNING by Jack Welch

Remember last post about this book? Hahaha…update from me. I haven’t read it. It is nicely placed next to my pillow. No idea when I will start reading it.

Reading Assignment : "Winning" by Jack Welch with Suzy Welch

Today I got reading assignment. My company got a program called Mentor Mentee. For our today meeting, my Mentor gave me one book to read. The picture above already gave an answer of the title and the author.
- Total page : 360.
-Table of contents: the contents look interesting
-when should I start ? : don't know but what i know, I will meet my mentor again after 2 mths..before this am so excited when see books but lately it seems my interests change. Even the "Ujang" magazine also I can't even finish reading half of it in a month.what happen to me? Now I am more interested in surfing internet and hang around with friend.
Nevermind...goodluck for me...maybe I can read it in LRT.
Will post an update about this book once complete reading it

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011

OMG… Now it’s already 2011. It seems long time haven’t type something on my blog. So, here my summary for the last 12 days of January 2011



01.01.11 – New Year Day
So funny. This year I stayed at home on New Year. Great achievement because since I finished my secondary school, 1 Jan every year is the day for outing. Surprisingly, I’m kind of enjoying it. This is because I need to do some deep thinking for my future life plan. End of the day, no result/ output because the so “deep thinking” activities worked together with Movie marathon. While re-arrange the furniture in my room, a group of VCD attract my attention and the funny thing is, I’ve yet to complete watching all the Movie VCD.



Out with Megala + Damping Malam




Finally, after almost 4 months, we met again. So many story to share and the winner of the best story is Megala’s story. What is the story? Its only between 2 of us. I love the first sentence coming out from her that day. “Wow, Rok…You lose weight”.It’s true, I lost 5 kg from my weight 4 months ago… so happy to hear that and due to that, we have a bet to lose more weight and meet again after 3 months with the new look. I told her that I will not let her to beat me.

After having a lunch, we go for movie, Damping Malam. I give 3 1/2 rating over 5 for this movie. The ending is so sad. After movie, we continue our chit chat until our goodbye. We’ll meet again after 3 months. But, we still communicate to each other. You’re so sweet Meg.



Good News: Friends Getting Married in February
Congratulation to Wani. She will get married by end of February 2011. Wish her a happy life. Now, I need to get Mega to go together to the wedding. Wish can go together with others too (Fiera, Leen, Siti, Yee)

Another marriage couple will be Yanti (friend that I met during my internship). Congratulation to her. Now, waiting for 2 more cards from my internship friend (Zati & Yani). Yuzi & Yuen already settled down last year. I wish both Zati & Yani will meet a guy that will love them till the end of their live.



Out with Sue + Gulliver’s Travel + POPULAR Bookstore
Hahaha… last weekend, lepak with Sue at Wangsa Walk. So bad, Dieba can’t join us because she’s in Melaka visiting her grandma. But both of us still enjoy. After having lunch at Popeye Restaurant, we went for a movie, Gulliver’s Travel. Nice Movie. After that, we lepak at POPULAR Bookstore almost 2 hrs and a half. We are crazy for kid’s book. It reminds us of our school memories. There got Siri 3 Penyiasat, Siri 5 Penyiasat, Siri Salma etc. Hahaha… While she busy searching and reading those books, I also busy searching and reading Conan & Doraemon. Funny thing is, we read these books at the store, then we buy the book. Reason: to keep as collection. When I think about it, it almost 1 month I haven’t read novel. Now, I’m crazy for comics & kid’s book.